Friday!

Yea!  It's Friday!  Daddy has off today, so we spent some time with him this morning before he went out this aftrernoon.  No idea what we will do with the rest of the weekend, but we'll find something.  Food has been fine the last few days.  Had pancakes this morning, which was great!  Walked 3.8 miles yesterday and took my own food to our dinner before bible study last night- I even avoided eating cupcakes while everyone else did!  Yea again!  That's about it.  How are you doing?

Didn't realize it's Wednesday already!

I've been lax in my posting the last few days.  I guess that's because things were going pretty well.  Monday was fine.  My husband and I walked 3.2 miles and I ate fine.  Yesterday was a different story.  I was making cupcakes for Mom's Night Out and the church youth.  Well, I told myself I needed to taste the icing to make sure it was still good (I froze it about a month ago) and that I'd just have one taste and be fine.  (The last time I froze it, it didn't stay good.)  Well, it was DELICIOUS and 1 taste turned into 1 CUP (that's my estimate) plus 4 cupcakes.  Oh yes, lovely, huh?  It's pretty hard not to be down on myself after all week reading Ephesians 4: 17-24 about putting off the old self and putting on the new self.  And here I go and screw up my week of hard work.  I KNOW BETTER!  I know that 1 taste is like an alcoholic saying 1 sip.  I should have been prepared. 

OK.  STOP NICOLE.  This is the end of the being angry.  Isaiah 43:18-19; Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.  See, I am doing a new thing!  Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?  I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.

Dear heavenly father, help me not dwell on this failure and focus on the good.  The fact that we walked 5.4 miles last night, the fact that I did well 6 of 7 days last week, the fact that I avoided many other temptations.  I am thankful for these successes and praise you for the strength to accomplish them.  You are MY heavenly father and I love you.

Saturday and Sunday

So this past weekend went well.  I went to the Beth Moore simulcast, but took my own lunch, which was a good thing, b/c they served Chic-fil-a.  I love that stuff, but love the idea of losing weight more.  I ate their vegeterian option, which was an iceberg lettuce salad (yuck).  Oh well- it was still 0 points!  I had a hard time when they brought out cookies and the girl next to me got 2, just as I told her, "I don't need to eat any cookies."  I just got my bible out and read/tried to ignore her while she was eating.  Saturday night, we walked 3.2 miles.  That was good b/c I was feeling really anxious b/c I wanted to eat.  No other reason, than my flesh wanted to be gratified with food and it makes me anxious and incredibly antagonistic with my husband.  Not vocally mean, but just playfully wanting to hit him and such, which I really don't like doing and it makes me more antagonistic anyway.  So he saved me and took us for a long walk.  It drizzled most of the time, but it was great to not be thinking about food and to be outside.

Sunday was equally fine.  My points were good and we walked 5.4 miles.  That was good too.  =)  And I got to redeem one of my birthday coupons for a free foot rub afterwards.  I have such an amazing husband.  =)

So the Beth Moore simulcast was fabulous.  I pray you got to attend.  But something that stuck out with me is this... change starts in your mind, goes to your feet (action), and then will land in your heart.  I love that.  I have done that with forgiveness when I haven't "felt it" and it worked.  Why did I never think that would work with other aspects of life like my food stronghold?  The whole session was based on Ephesians 4:17-24 about putting off the old and putting on the new.  I pray you read it and find it encouraging that we are called to JUST DO IT for God.  You can and I can and we will!!!

Easy day yesterday

It amazes me how some days are so easy and others are so hard.  Yesterday was an easy one.  I had really no big temptations, although I went to a Pampered Chef party.  We made a meal and dessert.  But I stuck to strawberries and grapes and water.  I was fine!  Towards the end I was craving something, but I put some gum in my mouth and did good.  Yeah for easy days.  I pray I have more of those.  Hope for a good day today and weekend.  How'd you do?

Kinda down...

So... today is a down day.  I am physically and emotionally exhausted.  All I want to do is lie on the couch and sleep, but wait- I have a 15 month old that won't allow that.  I've only eaten... I think less than 10 points today- that's how exhausted I am.  My husband and I are incredibly financially strapped and had to borrow money from family to make ends meet for May.  I don't understand why God hasn't provided for our house to sell yet.  This has caused a huge financial burden by having to pay rent and mortgage that are equal in price every month since December.  Our savings is gone, we are going to have to use our baby's savings account of money she's been given over the past 15 months.  And we still need to borrow money from family so my husband can buy gas to get to work.  That was really the main concern.  We have plenty of food and all the other bills are paid, but he will need gas.  I am GOING TO honor God though and continue to tithe 10%.  I am not mad at God, I just don't understand the whys.  Michael is so much happier in this job and it seemed like the right decision for our family to move here for it (and me to quit my job).  But is this God's way telling us, no?  I was reminded of 2 verses today on Proverbs 31's blog:

Philippians 4:4-9 "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.  Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you."
 
And "I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength." Philippians 4:12-13

I pray that God helps my husband and I live as an example of these verses over the coming days and months.

No Way!!!

Well, I lost 0.4 pounds this week.  I can't believe I actually lost anything!  Praise the Lord.  I am so ready to be back on track this week.  Today has been a fine day so far.  I'd like to nap now while the baby is, but have stuff to do...  Hope you're having a great day too!!!

Ugh.

So let's see here.  Sunday night wasn't too great.  I ate way too many Sun Chips.  Why?  Because I felt like I had ruined my week already, so I ate them.  Not a whole bag or anything, but definitely more than one serving and definitely more points than I should have.

BUT- I made a come back yesterday.  I limited myself to 25 points and went for a 45 minute walk with a bit of jogging.  It was a great food day!

Then today... my food at home has been fine, but I had MOPS this morning.  Should I tell you what I ate?  Yep, I think I need the accountability.  I had some spinach strawberry salad, 2 mini-muffins, 3- 1" brownies, 2 chocolate covered cream puffs, and 1 oatmeal raisin cookies.  Plus 2 glasses of water.  So it's not terrible, but again, it was definitely more than my points.  I know this will sound terrible, but others had heaping plates of food.  But that doesn't matter- it's about what I did, and that comparision doesn't make my sin of flesh any better.  So I am back on track now and plan to stay so through the rest of the day.  I will let you know how weigh-in goes.

So finally- I am worried.  I know Luke talks about not worrying, but gosh, I am worried.  Our house in NC has been on the market since mid-November.  We had a buyer all lined up and it fell through last week (the purchase was contingent on the sale of their house in MD).  So Michael and I are all out of savings after paying mortage and rent every month since December ($750 twice a month).  We might be able to make it this month.  We will have about $200 after paying all our bills for food and gas.  But we will be in the red until his 2nd monthly paycheck.  So I guess that means taking money out of baby's savings account.  I HATE to do that.  BUT I know that we can put it back once we sell the house (and we had planned to put more in there for her anyway).  Sigh.  I need to get on my knees and make some tread marks in the carpet.