So... today is a down day. I am physically and emotionally exhausted. All I want to do is lie on the couch and sleep, but wait- I have a 15 month old that won't allow that. I've only eaten... I think less than 10 points today- that's how exhausted I am. My husband and I are incredibly financially strapped and had to borrow money from family to make ends meet for May. I don't understand why God hasn't provided for our house to sell yet. This has caused a huge financial burden by having to pay rent and mortgage that are equal in price every month since December. Our savings is gone, we are going to have to use our baby's savings account of money she's been given over the past 15 months. And we still need to borrow money from family so my husband can buy gas to get to work. That was really the main concern. We have plenty of food and all the other bills are paid, but he will need gas. I am GOING TO honor God though and continue to tithe 10%. I am not mad at God, I just don't understand the whys. Michael is so much happier in this job and it seemed like the right decision for our family to move here for it (and me to quit my job). But is this God's way telling us, no? I was reminded of 2 verses today on Proverbs 31's blog:
Philippians 4:4-9 "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you."
And "I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength." Philippians 4:12-13
I pray that God helps my husband and I live as an example of these verses over the coming days and months.